Telemundo!!

Orale!

You are all aware that I am a HUGE fan of any trashy/reality TV. I have now discovered the greatness that is Telemundo!  Their talk shows kick the hell out of any talk shows in English!  I don't understand half of what is going on, but let's be honest....do I really need to hear the words to know that some dude was cheating on his wife with a transsexual?  I think not!

Telemundo Talk Shows are actually set up similar to that of a boxing ring....they have a panel area like other talks shows do, but the difference here is that the audience is standing up around the panel cheering on the fighting!  And let me tell you, they don't hold back....clothes are ripped off, make up is smeared, extensions are pulled out...I love it!  

The best part about the Telemundo shows is the wardrobe of the hosts.  I kid you not, the other day there was a guy in a pink and brown argyle suit that had giant white daisy's all over it!!!  It is a thing of beauty!

I encourage you to check it out!

Adios!

A Day In the Life....

So, a lot of people have asked me what a typical day entails for me given that I work from home and have the baby home with me. Here goes!

5:45 a.m. - Hear Bryan getting ready for work. This includes his "Foghorn Leghorn" impression. For anyone that doesn't know him, it is the annoying way he blows his nose.

6:00 a.m. - The sounds of the baby rustling begins to filter through the monitor. So far he is just "talking" to himself so this makes it safe to stay put in my warm bed.

6:15 a.m. - "Talking" has ceased and full blown crying begins. Bryan is still home, so I continue to stay put and hope he takes pity on me.

6:30 a.m. - No pity taken. I gather the baby and begin the diaper change/bottle making shuffle. Now is the time to log in to my work account and say my "Good Morning" to the bossman.

7:00 a.m. - Time to wake up Emily for school. I get the normal "Don't Turn On the LIGHT!....I don't want to wear THAAATTT!....Why can't I be tardy today?.....Can I buy my lunch today?" barage of complaining. Boyce is resting on my hip laughing at his sister.

7:15 a.m. - Breakfast. I suggest fruit and a piece of toast. I am shot down and the request for Pop Tarts begins.

7:30 a.m. - Breakfast of fruit and a piece of toast (YAY! A win for Mom!) is being consumed and I pack lunch. Boyce is now in the bouncer watching and still laughing.

7:45 a.m. - We begin the departure to school. Emily has begun her daily pout regarding how I have done her hair and what is packed in her lunch. Boyce is no longer laughing as he has now been strapped into the carseat.

7:55 a.m. - Refrain from flipping off the jackass that tried to cut in front of me in the carpool line. Wave goodbye to Em. Make a mental note to create a 5-point plan to ammend the carpool situation and present it at the next PTA Meeting.

8:00 a.m. - Continue to ignore the screams of annoyance from the infant in the backseat as I pull into the driveway.

8:15 a.m. - Finish feeding Boyce his breakfast of rice cereal and bananas. This is his fav and was not spit back at me so that is considered a second win for Mom. He is getting his second bottle from my right hand. My left hand is typing IMs to the Recruiters. This is the time they start bugging me about when I will get their requests taken care of. Abstainence from using the derrogatory emoticons is required at this point.

8:30 a.m. - Boyce has gone down for his first nap of the day. Prayer time ensues asking for Boyce's unconsciousness for more than 30 minutes.

8:30 a.m. - 9:30 a.m. - I have been able to sort through my e-mails and make a few phone calls at this point. I consider myself "caught up" for the time being and rush over to start some laundry before my luck runs out.

9:30 a.m. - Boyce has risen. Judging from the smell of his diaper, there is a reason he has awaken.

9:45 a.m. - 11:30 a.m. - I call this "station time". This is the time of day I put Boyce in his different "stations" (i.e. bouncer, exersaucer, floor mat, Boppy pillow, on blanket with toys, and Bumbo) and hope that he stays in one spot for more than 15 minutes without screaming like he is being physically harmed in some way. Hope desists as it becomes extremely apparent that this is one of his needy days. I do, somehow, get some reporting done and schedule some meetings. I am also able to book some space needed for an Interview Day.

11:30 a.m. - The screaming can now be heard down the street so I give up and begin the diaper/bottle shuffle again. I also take this opportunity to feed him his lunch of green beans. Green beans have just been introduced to him this week, so they are quickly spit back at me. Score one point for Boyce.

12:00 p.m. - Time for nap #2. I do a happy dance as I put him in his crib and he goes down without a fight.

12:00 p.m. - 1:30 p.m. - Continue to be productive on the work front. I manage to unload the dishwasher and take a shower! This is another win for Mom!

1:30 p.m. - Boyce is stirring. He begins "talking" to himself again. I take the opportunity to get him up for a change and a feed before the trudge back to pick Emily up.

2:00 p.m. - This is by far the most loathed part of the day. Due to the bad weather, I am not able to walk to the school to pick up Emily and am forced to sit in the carpool line. You may be wondering why I get to the line at 2 when school doesn't let out until 3. This is because you must be smarter than the line you are in and it is kill or be killed up there. I am by no means the first person in line.....Today, I am lucky number 6! Boyce seems satisfied in his seat with his toys so I am excited to read my book for a while.

2:40 p.m. - I am forced to exit my vehicle and knock on the window of the car that has now double parked next to me in a half-assed attempt to cut to the front of the line. I keep the cursing quelled as I point at the long line of cars behind me and explain to the English-as-a-second-language driver that they need to be back that way. I also try to explain, as politely as I can, that they will cram their piece of shit Daewoo in front of my Jeep over my dead body.

2:45 p.m. - One of my parent friends calls me and asks if that was me pointing and flailing my arms about at another driver in the carpool line again. She already knows the answer.

3:10 p.m. - Finally arrive home and the diaper change/bottle making/homework reviewing/snack making shuffle begins.

3:30 p.m. - Boyce is forced into the bouncer and Emily and I are forced to listen to his high-pitched squeals as we do spelling words. I am simultaneously checking e-mails and answering missed IMs.

4:30 p.m. - I hear the glorious sound of the garage door opening. Bryan has arrived home and I do my second happy dance of the day as I pass him the baby. I now rush over to my computer and begin the printing of offer letters and prepping my files for the FedEx run.

5:10 p.m. - Boyce is down for a nap again and I run Emily to dance class and hit the FedEx box. I savor the 45 minutes of peace and quiet I get at this point.

6:05 p.m. - Return home with Emily in tow. She is now complaining that she is absolutely starving and will keel over if she does not eat soon.

6:30 p.m. - Eat dinner while continuing my work. Boyce is still down for a nap! Bonus points for quiet time during dinner.

7:30 p.m. - Daddy's turn to give the baby a meal. He gets the second round of green beans spit back on him as well. I stifle my chuckles.

8:30 p.m. - Emily is bathed and we begin reading. I get yelled at for checking my computer and typing while she is trying to read yet another Junie B. Jones book to me.

8:45 p.m. - I lose the fight over who will give Boyce his bath tonight. I begin plotting some sort of revenge on Bryan while I duck the stream of pee comping at my head during diaper removal.

9:15 p.m. - Piece of shit computer shuts down unexpectedly again so I consider that a sign that I should give up on the work for today.

9:30 p.m. - Catch up on recorded TV.

10:45 p.m. - Crawl into bed and hear Bryan snoring already. A light bulb goes off over my my head. I reach over and inflict the ever popular "Wet Willie". HA HA! Revenge is mine!